trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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