I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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