Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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