Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize