I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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