Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
