remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
