party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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