who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just pee around me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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