what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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