My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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