i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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