Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
