P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
