Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Non-Jews are for practice
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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