After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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