Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the day after is always just damage control
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
