So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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