I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
