Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize