you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
