Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
two words...techno handjob
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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