I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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