bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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