just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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