ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
