I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
NoShamevember. You game?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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