I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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