I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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