i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
