know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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