So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
