Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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