shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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