I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
