remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
