I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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