one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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