you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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