Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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