hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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