I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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