we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
