i need an iv and a liver transplant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
