My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize