Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
