Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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