the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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