We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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