call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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