Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
