rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
